Since Derrick Rose’s story about rolling over onto a knife that had to be perpendicular from the bed doesn’t seem the most plausible, it is time to come up with alternative theories for what happened.

• Crazy ex-girlfriend?
• Convinced by the Chicago fans, Derrick came to the realization that he is in fact a god.  To test out whether he was actually a god, he tried stabbing himself to see what would happen.
• Derrick Rose is a very emo guy.  Could you blame him though?  That frontcourt would make anyone depressed.
• That football player whose girlfriend he slept with finally got his full revenge.
• Monkey knife fight.
• Derrick put up some posters of Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah in his room.  He began throwing knives at the posters, yelling “Catch this”.  On one of his throws, the knife bounced off Noah’s hands and came back into Rose’s arm.
• Paul Pierce part 2?
• The injury is actually a paper cut he received while swimming in Luol Deng’s pool of money.
• He cut himself while opening up a bag of gummi worms with a knife.  He was craving gummi worms so much that he didn’t take his time to safely open the bag.
• He’s covering for Ben Gordon, but the apple cutting story was a partial truth.  See, Derrick Rose was cutting his apples in bed, but at the same time, Ben Gordon was also in the room dribbling a basketball.  Gordon then proceeded to dribble the ball off his foot.  The ball bounced and hit Rose’s hand in which he was holding the knife, and forced Rose to stab his other arm.

Similar Posts:

• Derrick Rose Cut In Arm With Knife
• What Has Bulls’ Rookie Derrick Rose In Stitches?
• Rose May Miss Season Opener
• Bulls’ Bigs Getting Bullish
• The Bulls in 2k9

Tags: Ben Gordon, Derrick Rose, emo, knife, knifing, monkey knife fight

This entry was posted on Monday, December 8th, 2008 at 2:02 pm and is filed under Odd Ball. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.