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Archive for the ‘Odd Ball’ Category

Alternate Derrick Rose Knifing Theories

Monday, December 8th, 2008

Since Derrick Rose’s story about rolling over onto a knife that had to be perpendicular from the bed doesn’t seem the most plausible, it is time to come up with alternative theories for what happened.

  • Crazy ex-girlfriend?
  • Convinced by the Chicago fans, Derrick came to the realization that he is in fact a god.  To test out whether he was actually a god, he tried stabbing himself to see what would happen.
  • Derrick Rose is a very emo guy.  Could you blame him though?  That frontcourt would make anyone depressed.
  • That football player whose girlfriend he slept with finally got his full revenge.
  • Monkey knife fight.
  • Derrick put up some posters of Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah in his room.  He began throwing knives at the posters, yelling “Catch this”.  On one of his throws, the knife bounced off Noah’s hands and came back into Rose’s arm.
  • Paul Pierce part 2?
  • The injury is actually a paper cut he received while swimming in Luol Deng’s pool of money.
  • He cut himself while opening up a bag of gummi worms with a knife.  He was craving gummi bears so much that he didn’t take his time to safely open the bag.
  • He’s covering for Ben Gordon, but the apple cutting story was a partial truth.  See, Derrick Rose was cutting his apples in bed, but at the same time, Ben Gordon was also in the room dribbling a basketball.  Gordon then proceeded to dribble the ball off his foot.  The ball bounced and hit Rose’s hand in which he was holding the knife, and forced Rose to stab his other arm.

Oddball: Bulls Logo Is a Robot Sitting On Bench Reading the Bible

Monday, August 4th, 2008

Here is one for the conspiracy theorists with no grassy knolls involved. Someone called The Bagel of Everything posted on rationreality.com his conspiracy theory regarding the Bulls logo.

What you see will shock you, so the weak should just press the back button on their browser right now. If you think you are strong enough, read on.

When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest…

You, dear reader, have seen the proselyting robot menace, haven’t you?

I’ve made an art to clarify the danger we face:

Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us?
Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it’s too late!

Everything makes more sense when poorly animated.

Source: rationreality.com

I think none of us will ever look at the Bulls logo the same way again.